Those Too Weak to Seek It
by Severa1
Summary: As requested: 'Philosopher's Stone' from Quirrell's POV. What is it like to share a body with the most evil man in the world?
1. The Work of Wizards or Witched Unknown

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A/N : Okay, this is only the first chapter. Can't say how long between chapters. After all, I have two other works in progress. If you need more Quirrell stuff, may I suggest Normandie M's "Redemption" or my other, short Quirell fic. Cheers!

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Chapter 1: The Work of Dark Wizards or Witches Unknown

Gringotts...  
  
Oh, gods I didn't like this idea. I mean, it's so heavily guarded and those goblins are so nasty. I wish there were some other way of doing this.   
  
_There is no other way_  
  
Yes, yes, I know must do this. I have to do this for my master, for power. It's all for power. Once Voldemort returns he will rise to the greatness he had before, and I, being the one who helped him back will be at his side. It's better to be the devil's right hand than in his path.  
  
Some Defense Against the Dark Arts scholar I turned out to be. I'm no longer against it, I am for it! Then again, just as there is with good and evil, there is fine line between light and dark.  
  
_There is no good and evil_...  
  
Only power, I know, i know. And those too weak to seek it. I am not weak. I can do all that is asked of me. I'll go to Diagon Alley tomorrow. I need to pick up some supplies for my classes anyway. Plus, Iggy needs more food.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was midday. I already checked out the shops, and did one last scope out of the bank. I can not deny how nervous I am. My stomach feels like it wants to drop into my knees. I imagined that happening, and it made me laugh at how absurd that was. The other patrons all gave me odd looks at my sudden outburst. I just smile nervously at them, and they turn back to their drinks.   
  
They're used to it by now, my odd behaviour. But I tell you one thing, my strained nerves will soon be more than an act. Everyone thinks my new disposition of stuttering like mad, my faint heartedness, and twitching is a result of a bad experience when I went away to study abroad. A bad bout with vampires is what they assume. Oh, let them. It makes things so much easier for me. What harm could come from this frightened little mouse, right?   
  
The door to the tavern opens from the London street. I don't acknowledge it, I just keep my head down and try to be as unassuming as possible. Just keeping my ears open for well...anything. I always try to be well informed. Even idle gossip can be useful, blackmail, accusations, grapevines are very handy. Of course, of all the things being said, the next I hear is the most unexpected at all.  
"Bless my soul, it's Harry Potter!"   
  
Harry Potter!? Could it be true? The other occupants immediately begin to crowd around the boy to introduce themselves, and shake his hand. I decide it would definitely be in my best interest to get a good look at this boy. He could be a problem. I wonder if my Lord knows the boy is back. Well, if he didn't, he's going to know now.  
  
I approach him, my eye twitching. This? This is the famous hero, the Boy Who Lived? He was nothing but a scrawny, messy-haired, bespectacled, child! He looked more confused and scared than all brave and powerful! This was almost ridiculous! But looks can be deceiving, I must remind myself. I am a living testament of that myself, after all.  
  
Hagrid sees me coming forward. "Professor Quirrell! Harry, Professor Quirrell will be one of your teachers at Hogwarts."  
  
"P-P-Potter," I stammer, grasping the boy's hand, "c-can't tell you how p-pleased I am to meet you."  
  
The boy smiled at me and asked, "what kind of magic do you teach, Professor Quirrell?"  
  
"D-Defense Against the D-Dark Arts," I muttered, trying to sound like I rather not think of it. "N-Not that you n-need it e-eh, P-P-Potter?" I let out a nervous laugh. Harry was looking at me curiously and Hagrid seemed almost embarrassed for me. "You'll be g-getting all your equipment, I suppose? I've g-got to p-pick up a new b-book on vampires myself." Which is true. I did forget to pick that up this morning with my other things.   
  
I'm not allowed any more time to assess the boy, the crowd practically push me aside so they can all get acquainted with the famous Mr. Potter. Oh well, I must get prepared for tonight anyway. Gods know it'll be a lot of preparing.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It's 11 pm. I stand outside the walls of Gringotts Bank. Diagon Alley is disturbingly dissimilar from the day. No more the merry bustle. It's quiet, dark, still. All the shops are closed. Even the Leaky Cauldron should be closed for business, only the tenants remain, sleeping peacefully in their beds. Of course, if I were in Knockturn Alley, the situation would be quite different. This is their busiest time of the day. People unseen, masked, hoods up, making transactions that are against ministry laws. It's a wonder that entire section hasn't been cleared out. But I find that area necessary. Not only for my expertise and for personal interest, mind you. Along with Happy-go-lucky Diagon, we need satanic Knockturn. It's like how light can not exist without dark, nor good without evil.  
  
Well, it's time. Taking a deep breath, I place my hand against the wall. "Penetro," I mutter under my breath. Such a simple spell, but not greatly known. One of those that the Ministry likes to keep in check because it's a little too useful. The knowledge of it is all but dead. I fluidly pass thru the thick wall into this "High Security" building. I can't help but chuckle under my breath. It's almost too easy. Oh well, never look a gift dragon in the mouth, I say.  
  
The entrance to the vaults is a heavy door. I know what's behind it. Those carts, and the stomach turning maze of tracks. But with a nice investigation I had composed earlier, I know an alternative means of transportation. A lift of sorts, only used by the Goblins. Not tonight though. It's hidden in a wall, but if you look closely, a seam of a doorframe is visible. I take out my wand and run it along the frame. the bricks sizzle and hiss from the heat coming from my wand and the wall gives way. It takes all the strength I have to hold it up so that it doesn't go crashing to the ground, and instead lay it gently on the floor. Phew. At least that hard part's over.  
  
In the lift is a panel with buttons and numbers. 7-1-3 I punch in. I feel my stomach drop to my toes as the I plunge rapidly into the depth of London's underworld. For indeed it looks like a piece of Hades, endless tunnels, craggy rocks, and fire spurting out of crevices. Of course, I am able to avoid al of these because of the handy express lift. So, here I stand in front of vault 713.  
I fish around in my pocket for the most important part of this operation. Finally, I remove a long digit, a recently severed goblin finger. Marvellous.  
Taking it, I stroke the door gently. It opened right away for me. So many loopholes.   
  
Excitedly, I go to claim my prize. oh dear, the vault is...uh...empty. No it's just the lighting, has to be it. But I have searched every corner frantically. It's gone! Some one has gotten here before me! What am I going to do? What am I going to do? Worse yet, what's my master going to do to me... 


	2. The Man with Two Faces

_My first name for Quirrell is Janus. Janus was the Roman god with two faces. One looked towards the future, the other looked towards the past. From him we get our first month of the year, January. Now that the Mythology lesson is over... Oh, and I don't give Voldemort much punctuation was he speaks. That is on purpose._

Chapter 2: The Man with Two Faces 

Back in my room at Hogwarts, I place all my new acquirements on my bed. Taking Iggy's food out of one of the bags, I am more concerned with the item I failed to acquire. Voldemort is expecting me to report to him within the dark forest /with/ the Philosopher's Stone. My feeling of dread can not be compared to anything else I have ever felt before. Well, maybe the day I met Voldemort can be compared to this moment. That was very scary, indeed.  
  
With shaking hands, I remove Iggy from his cage. I know, not a very original name for an iguana, but who says I have to be original? He nips at my fingers playfully as he eats out of my palm. I'm trying, desperately, to relax. I pace about the room trying to build up my nerve. I have to come up with an explanation. I'll just tell the truth. Some one got there before me, which was completely unexpected. I can not be blamed for it at all. He can't do anything to me if I did nothing wrong.   
  
It's very pathetic, how I attempt to fill myself with confidence. I look at myself in the mirror over the dresser. I look far from confidant. My eyes are wide, skin pale, and I'm nervously chewing my lower lip. And damn, I look ridiculous holding this stupid pet! No, Iggy isn't stupid. He's a very loyal pet.   
  
What about me, though? Am I loyal? Yes, I am Voldemort's loyal pet, and I'm more stupid looking then the lizard. My ears are too big. Why the hell am I talking about my ears? After tonight I probably won't even have any body parts left!   
  
Well, I better just go and face my fate. Placing Iggy back in his cage, I take a deep breath. This is not going to be fun. I grab my hooded cloak and head out of my room, locking the door behind me.  
  
The night is quite nice, all things considering. The warm August breeze pulls at the edges of my cloak as I get closer to the dark forest. I remember my days as a student here at Hogwarts (it wasn't that long ago anyway). Every year we were reminded that the forest is off limits to students. Unfortunately, I have been getting a first hand look at why. It's obvious why Voldemort has chosen this place to lay low. Most of the creatures residing here are the kinds he would keep as pets. Of course the deeper you go, the scarier it gets, and my rendezvous point with my master is in the heart of forest.   
  
I veer off from the path. I can hear my heart racing in my ears. Wait, no that's hooves. Must be the centaurs out and star gazing. I duck behind some trees hoping that they will not find me, Centaurs do not take kindly to intruders. I watch, but the creature I see is not a centaur at all. My breath catches as I spot the most beautiful living being that as put upon the earth: a Unicorn. It's dazzling white flanks shimmer in the silver moonlight. I am captivated. It stops in the middle of the clearing and begins to graze.   
  
I can not help myself; hesitantly, I come out of my hiding place. It sees me and stiffens, but does not run. I stop too, and we stare at each other for a few seconds before it starts grazing again. I start to approach and it just continues having its dinner. It doesn't seem at all scared of me. I wonder why. Usually unicorns are very skittish around humans and are a bugger to catch. Not this one. I stand right in front of it now. Tentatively, I reach out a hand and touch its back. It lifts its head suddenly and I pull away. It doesn't run. Again, I reach out, and this time no reaction. So, I begin to pet it. It's so soft and calming. Such a beautiful creature. It even bends its head and nuzzles my shoulder. I laugh, forgetting the heart wrenching fears I had before. I could stay like this forever.  
  
All good things, though, must come to an end. There is a rustling in the brush. My entire body is instantly gripped in fear. The unicorn feels it too, and with a startled neigh it rears and gallops away. There is only when thing to explain this: Voldemort. With the unicorn's disappearance, all my hope runs away with it.  
  
A snake, much larger than any snake that inhabits these parts has any right to be, slithers out of the forest and into the clearing. The snake's black scales glimmer in the moonlight, but the gleam ominously, not the beauty that the unicorn possessed.   
  
_You're late..._  
  
"S-Sorry, Master."  
  
_Careful, Janus, that stutter is becoming a habit_  
  
"Y-Yes, Master."  
  
_The stone Quirrell..._  
  
"Uh..." I'm sweating now, horribly so. Voldemort sees this.  
  
_No stone...and why is that_  
  
I swallow hard before I answer, I'm shaking now. "W-When I got there, the v-vault was empty."  
  
_Empty_ I don't like how calmly he's reacting to this news. _Oh Janus, I knew I shouldn't have trusted a pup with this important of a mission_  
  
"N-No, Sir."  
  
_Still...I need you. I will need to take matters in my own hands it seems, but I do not have any hands do I, Janus?  
_  
What kind of question is that? Oh how I hate this enigmatic talk. Why can't he just get to the point and kill me? "No, Sir, you do not."  
  
A contemplative hiss emitted from the snake. _You are to be punished, Janus_  
  
"Of course, Master." So this is it.  
  
_Don't be so concerned, I am not going to kill you, like I said, I need you yet. Of course, maybe you'll want to die then....Let's test your loyalties, invoke the punishment, and get personally involved all at once. There is a way. Are you ready_?  
  
I have no idea what he just meant by all that. Well, maybe the loyalty test is to make sure I respond to the question correctly, even though I do not understand it. Ready for what? "I am, Master."  
  
Immense pain. Oh, that. That is what I am supposed to be ready for. What is this, the Crustacious Curse? I have no more room for ponderings, pain is all that exists now. I feel a hot flame engulf me, burning me. I feel as if every part of me is being stretched in contorted, every muscle, and every vein, twisted in agony. There's a dull pressing against my brain. My thoughts become muddled. Hot white is the pain in my body, but pressing and numbing in my head. Oh, gods, make it stop!   
  
And it did.  
  
I look around me, the snake is gone. I can hear my screams of pain reverberating off the trees and stones. A wolf howls in the distance in response to my own howls of agony. The fire resides, but my mind still pounds with dullness. I only know that I have to find my way back to the castle.  
  
Instinctively, I flip my hood up. Oh, I feel so strange and not completely myself. What has he done to me? I run through the Dark Forest, not sure how, but knowing my way blindly thought the thicket, back to the school without taking the path.  
  
I finally make it back to the castle. I just want to go to my room and try to figure out what happened to me. As I scurry through the corridors, I run straight into Dumbledore and Severus. _Hatred_ I suddenly get a searing hatred for these two men, but Severus sparks it even more. I have no idea where this is coming from. I stand there, staring at them. My mind is a swirl of emotions, anger and shock. This is too much. Dumbledore is looking at me like a concerned father. and Severus, well, he's just giving his shrewd, calculating look that makes you feel he's staring into your soul. "E-Excuse me," I manage ot sputter before pushing past them.  
  
Finally, I make it back to my chambers. My eyesight is beginning to get hazy, must be from the headache. I throw off my robe and begin to inspect my body, to see if there are any marks left on my skin from my master's torture. My hands and arms are clean...wait, what's that on my forearm? I gasp as I recognize it. How many times have I seen this image in my books about the Dark Lord's reign: The Dark Mark. Only this is far more detailed than the ones illustrated, not as ordinary as the one I spotted on Severus' arm last year. The snake had clear scales, the skull had dimensions to it.   
  
I inspect my new marking as I head towards my wardrobe, but I stop. I just happen to glance at myself in the mirror as I pass it. Ah...so that's why I've been having the headaches. I'm too horrified to scream. The vision before my eyes is more terrifying than any description I heard of Voldemort's snake-like appearance, that's because the visage is attached to my own head. Where my dark hair once rested, sits the ugly face of my master.   
  
I find my voice, finally, but it is only a great sob.   
  
_Goodnight Janus_  
  
Darkness... 


End file.
